Annual Holiday Greetings by Dr. Reznik
Broken Bones
Written by Alan M. Reznik, MD 2011
(Based on the tune of Silver Bells)
City sidewalks, Slip'ry sidewalks
See them covered in snow
In the air there's a feeling of winter
Children laughing, people passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every street corner you'll hear
Broken Bones, Broken bones
It's winter time in the city
Slip-a-long, hear their song
Soon it will be casting time
Strings of nurses get the doctor
Bring the sur-ge-ry team
An-es-the-sia to sleep
With dream pleasures
Hear the bones crunch
See the “Docs” bunch
This Or-tho-pae-dic scene
And above all this bustle you'll hear
Broken bones, Broken bones
It's winter time in the city
Slip-a-long, hear their song
Soon it will be casting time
Broken bones, Broken bones
Soon it will be casting time
Soon it will be casting time
All My Favorite Things
By Alan M Reznik, MD MBA 2010
Sutures on needles and scissors on tables;
White steri-strips and silvery skin staples;
Blue surgery drapes all tied up with strings;
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cream-colored dressings, elastic ace wrappings;
O-Rs and E-Rs and bones that are cracking,
Nurses help out when the telephone rings;
These are a few of my favorite things.
Arthro-scopic lenses with video screen dashes;
Safety shields stay on my nose and eyeglasses;
Silver-white an-es-thesia for sleeping;
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the knee breaks,
When the shoulder stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Joint Crisp-ness
By Alan M Reznik, MD, MBA 2009
(Sung to the tune of White Christmas)
I'm dreaming of a Joint Crisp-ness
Just like the one I used to know.
Where the cartilage glistens
And we all listen
To hear footprints in the snow.
I'm dreaming of a joint smoothness
At every sports game I do play.
With goals I’m scorin’
The fans are roarin’
Then the referee’s whist—le blows.
I’m reeling from a joint stiffness
Now that I have twisted my knee.
With meniscus smitten
And Doctor’s written
For the quick scope fixin’ we all know.
I'm recouping from my injury
Now that I had knee surgery.
With cartilage repair
And doctor’s good care
From recovery ready to go.
I'm dreaming of a Joint-Crisp-ness
With every running move I make.
May your days be merry
And Bri—ght
And may all your Joint-Crispnesses be right.
Frosty the Shoulder
By Alan M. Reznik, MD, MBA 2008
(The tale of a truly frozen shoulder,To be sung to the tune of ‘Frosty the Snowman’)
Frosty the shoulder was a sad, unhappy soul,
With a corncob arm and unbending neck
And two eyes made of coal.
Frosty the shoulder is a fairy tale, they say,
He was stiff as snow but the children
Know, how he came to life one day.
JThere must have been some magic in that
Old doc-tor they found.
When operated through small holes
He began to dance around.
O' Frosty the shoulder
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh
And play just the same as you and me.
O' Frosty the shoulder
Was moving to and fro.
Throwing, catching, and play-ing
Over the hills of snow.
O' Frosty the shoulder
Left smiling that day
Thumpetty thump, thump thump,
Thumpetty thump, thump thump,
Waving all the way.
‘Walking in Winter Wonderland’
By Alan M Reznik, MD 2007
(Sing to the tune of Winter Wonderland by Dick Smith, and Felix Bernard 1934)
Gone away is the Tylenol,
We are here to have a big-ball
Singing to a song,
As we dance along,
Strolling in a winter wonderland.
Joints a- creak’n, are you listening,
In the lane, ice is glistening
A beautiful fright,
We're anxious tonight,
Slipping in a winter wonderland.
Later on, we'll conspire,
Fractured knee by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Limping in a winter wonderland.
In the morning we can build a new knee,
Fitted up with its titanium crown
He'll say: Are you happy?
We'll say: Yes man,
And you did a great job
When you’re in gown.
The knee moves, ain't it thrilling,
Though your toes gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play,
the orthopedic way,
Crutching in a winter wonderland.
Joints all happy, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Just, a-
Skipping in a winter wonderland;
I’m a-
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Rudolph Had an ACL Tear
By Alan M Reznik, MD 2005
(Adapted from Johnny Marks 1949)
You know bursitis and arthritis
And cuts and blisters,
Strains and sprains
And fractures and splinters.
But do you recall
The most famous injury of all?
Rudolph with A-C-L tear
It made for a tricky knee
And if you ever saw it
You would feel very sorry!
All of the other doctors
Poked and prodded his bad knee
They never felt poor Rudolph
Would ever prance or would fly free.
Then one foggy Monday eve
A surgeon came to say
Rudolph with your leg so light
Won't you sign consent tonight?
Then all the nurses prepped him
And they shouted out with glee
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You're having Arthroscopy!"
Jingle Bones
By Alan M Reznik, MD 2004
(To be sung to Jingle Bells by James Pierpont - 1857)
Casting head to toe, in a slow and careful way
Over the cotton roll, reading the xray;
Bones in line setting, making spirits bright
What fun it is to sit and see a fracture fixed up right.
(Chorus)
Jingle bones, Jingle bones, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to right a bone in cast today.
Jingle bones, Jingle bones, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to right a bone in cast today.
(Chorus)
A day or two ago, I pranced around with pride
And now my casted limb was seated by my side;
The leg was lean and lank, misfortune seemed my lot;
I skied into a drifted bank and got my leg upsot.
(Chorus)
As the day went by, the story I must tell
Out onto the snow, and on my back I fell;
A doc was riding by, in a one-horse open sleigh
He saw my leg bent all around and fixed it right way
(Chorus)
Now the ground is white, I'm cast up and still young
Take the girls tonight, and sing this sleighing song;
I can't be there with you, out in the open field
So please come by and sign my cast, before my leg is healed
(Chorus)
The Night Before Surgery
Poem By Clement Clarke Moore
Adapted by Alan M. Reznik, MD 2003
Twas the night before Surgery and all through the house
Not to eat anything, not even a mouse.
All the doctor's orders, I followed with care.
With the hope that morning would soon be there.
Then, closing my wondering eyes so dreams could appear,
Where a miniature lens and eight instruments would peer,
And little tiny incisions so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment my knee would be un-trick.
Then more rapid than eagles his nurses all came
As he shouted, "Ligaments" and each one by name.
Anterior, Posterior, Medial and Lateral,
Torn Menisci, Cartilage and Collateral
Then fixing them all with a suture
He brought sports back to my future
And so up to the recover room I soon flew
With a face full of joys and anesthesia, too.
Then down the hall he came with a leap and a bound;
In surgical greens, and boots firmly on the ground.
He spoke not a word but went straight to this work,
And filled out my prescriptions, his pen with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his head,
Giving a nod up the hall and then toward my bed.
But I heard him exclaim as he strolled out of sight,
"Your surgery went well and have a great night!"
Jingle Bones
By Alan M. Reznik, MD 2002
Bone, Joint and Muscle
It's Time for the Holiday Hustle
With Doctor Reznik and his Gang
The New Year will come with a Bang.
To all those past mended,
We extend cheer blended.
Enjoy the season to the best,
And safety first before you rest.
We truly hope this card finds you well,
If not then please ring my bell.
The Twelve Days of Orthopaedics
By Alan M. Reznik, MD 2001
On the Twelfth Day of Orthopaedics my patients gave to me:
Twelve ligaments tearing,
Eleven piper's fingers,
Ten toes a-spraining,
Nine ladies aching,
Eight maids a-limping,
Seven shoulders snapping,
Six knees a-catching,
Five nintendo thumbs,
Four twisting ankles,
Three fractured heels,
Two elbow cysts
And a cartilage in a bum knee!
A Poem from Years Past
The surgery is over
Recovery has begun
Some days are difficult
Some days are fun
Each day shows improvement
Your walking with ease
Keep up the good work
Take care of your knees!
One Last Poem
Last years shoulder problem
gave you some distress.
Now your surgery's over
We applaud your success.
A new year shows promise.
Your shoulder's improving.
Keep up the good work,
stay healthy, keep moving.
