Annual Holiday Greetings by Dr. Reznik

Joint Crisp-ness

(Sung to the tune of White Christmas)

By Alan M Reznik, MD, MBA 2009

I'm dreaming of a Joint Crisp-ness
Just like the one I used to know.
Where the cartilage glistens
And we all listen
To hear footprints in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a joint smoothness
At every sports game I do play.
With goals I’m scorin’
The fans are roarin’
Then the referee’s whist—le blows.

I’m reeling from a joint stiffness
Now that I have twisted my knee.
With meniscus smitten
And Doctor’s written
For the quick scope fixin’ we all know.  

I’m recouping from my injury
Now that I had knee surgery.
With cartilage repair
And doctor’s good care
From recovery ready to go. 

I'm dreaming of a Joint-Crisp-ness
With every running move I make.
May your days be merry
And Bri—g­ht
And may all your Joint-Crispnesses be right.

‘Walking in Winter Wonderland’

(2007) By Alan M Reznik MD 2007

(Sing to the tune of Winter Wonderland
by Dick Smith, and Felix Bernard 1934)

Frosty the Shoulder

(The tale of a truly frozen shoulder)

(2008) By Alan M. Reznik, MD, MBA

To be sung to the tune of
‘Frosty the Snowman’

Frosty the shoulder was a sad, unhappy soul,
With a corncob arm and unbending neck
And two eyes made of coal.
Frosty the shoulder is a fairy tale, they say,
He was stiff as snow but the children
Know, how he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in that
Old doc-tor they found.
When operated through small holes
He began to dance around.

O’ Frosty the shoulder
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh
And play just the same as you and me.

O’ Frosty the shoulder
Was moving to and fro.
Throwing, catching, and play-ing
Over the hills of snow. 

O’ Frosty the shoulder
Left smiling that day
Thumpetty thump, thump thump,
Thumpetty thump, thump thump,
Waving all the way.

The Twelve Days of Orthopaedics

(2006) By Alan M. Reznik, MD

On the Twelfth Day of Orthopaedics my patients had for me:

Twelve ligaments lagging,
Eleven fingers fracturing,
Ten lords a-limping,
Nine ladies aching,
Eight maids a-straining,
Seven shoulders a-snapping,
Six knees a-catching,

Five nintendo thumbs!

Four twisted ankles,
Three synvisc injections,
Two rotator cuffs,

And a cartilage in a bum knee!

Jingle Bones

(2004) By Alan M Reznik, MD
To be sung to Jingle Bells by
James Pierpont - 1857

Casting head to toe, in a slow and careful way
Over the cotton roll, reading the xray;
Bones in line setting, making spirits bright
What fun it is to sit and see a fracture fixed up right.

(Chorus)

Jingle bones, Jingle bones, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to right a bone in cast today.
Jingle bones, Jingle bones, jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to right a bone in cast today.

(Chorus)

A day or two ago, I pranced around with pride
And now my casted limb was seated by my side;
The leg was lean and lank, misfortune seemed my lot;
I skied into a drifted bank and got my leg upsot.

(Chorus)

As the day went by, the story I must tell
Out onto the snow, and on my back I fell;
A doc was riding by, in a one-horse open sleigh
He saw my leg bent all around and fixed it right way

(Chorus)

Now the ground is white, I'm cast up and still young
Take the girls tonight, and sing this sleighing song;
I can't be there with you, out in the open field
So please come by and sign my cast, before my leg is healed

(Chorus)

The Night Before Surgery

Poem by Clement Clarke Moore
(2003) - adapted by Alan M. Reznik, MD

Twas the night before Surgery and all through the house
Not to eat anything, not even a mouse.
All the doctor's orders, I followed with care.
With the hope that morning would soon be there.
Then, closing my wondering eyes so dreams could appear,
Where a miniature lens and eight instruments would peer,
And little tiny incisions so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment my knee would be un-trick.
Then more rapid than eagles his nurses all came
As he shouted, "Ligaments" and each one by name.
Anterior, Posterior, Medial and Lateral,
Torn Menisci, Cartilage and Collateral
Then fixing them all with a suture
He brought sports back to my future

And so up to the recover room I soon flew
With a face full of joys and anesthesia, too.
Then down the hall he came with a leap and a bound;
In surgical greens, and boots firmly on the ground.
He spoke not a word but went straight to this work,
And filled out my prescriptions, his pen with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his head,
Giving a nod up the hall and then toward my bed.
But I heard him exclaim as he strolled out of sight,
"Your surgery went well and have a great night!"

The Twelve Days of Orthopaedics
(2001) By Alan M. Reznik, MD

On the Twelfth Day of Orthopaedics my patients gave to me:

Twelve ligaments tearing,
Eleven piper's fingers,
Ten toes a-spraining,
Nine ladies aching,
Eight maids a-limping,
Seven shoulders snapping,
Six knees a-catching,
Five nintendo thumbs,
Four twisting ankles,
Three fractured heels,
Two elbow cysts
And a cartilage in a bum knee!

Jingle Bones
(2002) By Alan M. Reznik, MD

Bone, Joint and Muscle
It's Time for the Holiday Hustle
With Doctor Reznik and his Gang
The New Year will come with a Bang.

To all those past mended,
We extend cheer blended.
Enjoy the season to the best,
And safety first before you rest.

We truly hope this card finds you well,
If not then please ring my bell.

A Poem from Years Past

The surgery is over
Recovery has begun
Some days are difficult
Some days are fun

Each day shows improvement
Your walking with ease
Keep up the good work
Take care of your knees!

One Last Poem

Last years shoulder problem
gave you some distress.
Now your surgery's over
We applaud your success.

A new year shows promise.
Your shoulder's improving.
Keep up the good work,
stay healthy, keep moving.